Open The Past And Present Now And We Are There
by Henderson Dirnt
Summary: Whatsername has a big problem she has to choose between the two people she loves most. This story takes you back to the beginning, when everything was perfect. As the story goes on, you'll see how hard it really is. I'm bad at summaries the story is good.
1. Chapter 1 Remember Whatever

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the members of Green Day or their wives, children, or anyone from the real world I choose to throw in. I do own, however, Whatsername/Henderson completely, I own my take on Saint Jimmy that Roxie and I have morphed into who he is; same thing goes with Armatage Shanks and Roxie herself. I've also always found it easier to have faces for the characters so you can imagine it better. That's what this crafty little list is below.

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Whatsername/Henderson:

Kelli Garner (Whatsername being the Kelli with the wigs and eyeliner from the Jesus Of Suburbia music video, Henderson being the actual, cleaned up, actress.)

Saint Jimmy O'Connell:

Lou Taylor Pucci (Jesus of Suburbia video Lou)

Armatage Shanks:

M. Shadows

Roxanne O'Connell:

Mandy Moore

Mike Dirnt, Tré Cool, and Billie Joe Armstrong are played by themselves.

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Have you ever had to choose between two people you love most? Have you ever felt your heart break? Have you ever second guessed your decisions? I have. I've had to choose between the two people I loved most. Saint Jimmy and Mike Dirnt. Mike was the safer choice. He was calm, sweet, caring, loving, and he treated me like gold. Sure, he did a few drugs but they weren't his main priority, I was. It was nice being admired but... then there was Jimmy. Jimmy was the one your parents warned you about and wanted you to steer clear from. He was a bad boy. He ran the drug trade in the worst part of the streets and loved his drugs more than anything else, well, except for me. But his life was spiraling downhill and I didn't want to be dragged down with him. But I loved him as I did Mike. Mike or Jimmy. I loved Mike, and I knew I should be with him forever. If I was, I'd have the life I always wanted. It'd be perfect. I needed that. But Jimmy... if I ended up with Jimmy I'd be dead within the next ten years either from drugs or war. To you it may be a simple choice. Go with the one that won't kill you, right?

It's not that simple. Nothing ever is, not where I come from. How I wish it was that simple, though. Every night I have begged and pleaded with God that he could give me a sign of who I should be with... but it hasn't happened yet. Every day I let this go without making a decision, the harder and harder this gets. It feels like someone is tearing me apart inside and I can't do anything to stop the searing pain. I want to scream, cry, kick, shout, but I know none of that will make this any easier. I needed to decide, and I have no idea how I will. But first of all, I'm going to take you back. Back to where this all started. Back to when I first met Jimmy and his sister, Roxie, who later became my best friend, she still is. I guess you could say we're one in the same because she's going through what I am except with Armatage Shanks and Billie Joe Armstrong. Roxie and I are all the other has right now. We're the only ones that can comfort the other because we're feeling the same agony searing through us.

But you have no idea what I'm talking about, and that's okay. You will, though. I'm going to show you my story from the beginning of my life on the Streets. Let me warn you now, though. This isn't a happy story. This is a story of love, lust, hate, angst, passion, sex, drugs, and rock and roll. It's not for the simple minded and the weak of heart, no. This is for someone who wants to know the truth. This story is for someone who wants to know how this dilemma _really_ came to be.

If you're still reading this, thank you. If you're still reading this, welcome to the rock life of Henderson Adrienne Lee/Saint Whatsername.


	2. Chapter 2 The Streets of Shame

I twirled the unlit cigarette around in my fingers absently, waiting for something interesting to happen. I guess interesting was the wrong word, really. The streets were interesting but... they were also very dangerous. I feel like dangerous wasn't a strong enough to describe this hellish place I unwillingly called my home. Whatever, you get my drift. This place was less than great but, hey, what other choice did I have? Go back to my _family_? As if. Those low life scum weren't my family, they were strangers and abusive assholes that I was forced to spend fourteen years of my life with. You're probably curious about why I chose _this _place, am I right? Of course I am, I'm always right.

I guess you could say I got fed up with my family when my dad knocked me unconscious for the millionth time... I dunno, something finally snapped then. That night I packed all my shit and was out of the house. I wandered until I found this place, the Streets of Shame. The name didn't intimidate me. I figured as long as I was away from my parents anything was good. I settled in pretty quickly here. At first, I was living in alley ways and on street corners before I actually got to _know_ people. Y'see, Armatage Shanks was the king here when I arrived. He sorta took me under his wing, which was rare. I was the only person he's ever done that with. Shanks and I are close now, closer than close, he's my older brother in a sense. We'd die for eachother and it's come close to that many times. He's my best friend and I love him to death.

Through knowing A I worked my way up. I worked my way to the top of the drug trade and _I_ became Queen of the Streets of Shame. _Saint_ Whatsername is how I'm known here. Everyone respects me, everyone listens to me, everyone _fears_ me. I'm not some crazy bitch though who goes shooting up random people cause I'm having a bad day, no that was A, not me. A and I currently live in one of the nicer houses here, no broken windows, still has locks on the doors, no holes in the walls or the roof, it's a pretty nice place.

I pulled myself out of my trip down memory lane when my sudden urge for a cigarette overpowered me. "Stupid addictions," I sighed, lighting up my Newport and smiling at the menthol as it coated my throat, disguising the taste of the smoke as it entered and exited my lungs. I looked down at the pack of Newports I had in my hand and counted the remaining cigarettes, five. I groaned I had gotten this pack this morning. I stuffed it in my back pocket and let my feet take the familiar route to the 7-Eleven. I had walked this route so many times I didn't need to look. When you've been living in the Streets for as long as I have, you get to know your way around blindfolded and backwards.

I smiled when the automatic doors opened and I stepped through. I'd never told anyone this because it's embarrassing but, when I walk through those doors, it makes me feel like a Jedi. Like I can move shit with my mind. I stifled a laugh as I walked up to the counter, earning an odd look from the cashier. I looked crazy to everyone, but then again, everyone except me an A _were_ crazy so it didn't really make a difference, did it?

"Newports," I said to the boy. He reached up without looking at me and handed me my pack, his eyes glued to his copy of _Playboy_. I rolled my eyes and walked out of the gas station. That's how it was here, you didn't pay for anything. You either stole it or it was given too you. A and I get things handed to us on a silver platter, and everyone else steals. I packed down my new pack of cigarettes before stuffing them in my other pocket. I would have to remember not to sit down until I took them out... if not that would lead to a very pissed off Whatsername.

"W!" I whipped around at the sound of my name, my hand instinctively on my gun before I had time to register the voice as A's. "Oh yes I'm here to blow your brains out," he rolled his eyes walking towards me.

"I'm sorry, A! It's a reflex!" I told him, walking to meet him half way. He laughed and hugged me when we reached eachother.

"I know, don't worry. I just like giving you a hard time," he grinned.

"Thanks...," I glared. I had to look up at him, he was more than a foot taller than my five foot three inches. "Y'know, it's annoying how everyone is taller than me," I sighed. "I'm seventeen and I'm 5'3''," I grumbled.

"Don't worry, good things come in small packages!" He grinned, patting me on the head. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"Asshole," I murmured, smiling. He was about to protest when we heard shouting. Both of our hands snapped to our guns and we ran in the direction of the noise. No one started shit on the Streets and expected to get away with it. This had to be someone new. My job was getting annoying, I was getting sick of having to babysit these idiots, but _someone_ had to do it and I sure as hell was the only one who would.

When we reached the sound of the noise, it confirmed my theory that we didn't know who they were. One was a boy, he was tall with black spikey hair that stuck out in all directions, he was about 5'6" and had the brightest blue eyes I had ever seen, in all honestly this guy nearly knocked me off my feet. I shook my head, clearing my thoughts as I noticed the someone he was shouting at. She was about an inch taller than him and she had curly dirty blonde hair and an odd shade of purple eyes that I'd never seen before.

"Who are you?" I asked, not caring if it came out rude or not. I really didn't want to waste my time on these low lives, I had more important things to do... like finding weed.

"What the fuck is it to you?" The guy snarled. So it was going to be like this, then. I sighed and pointed my gun at him, cocking it with a uninterested look on my face. I chuckled when he pointed his gun at me as well.

"Lovely, we're going to get along _great_," I rolled my eyes. "I'll ask you again, who are you and why are you here?"

"And again, what the fuck is it to you?" He snapped. Another asshole... he did have a nice voice though. _Focus, W_...

"Considering I run this place? It means something," I sighed.

"_You're_ Whatsername?" He asked, his crystal blue eyes going wide slightly. He'd heard of me? That could go either way... he could put his gun away or he could shoot me. I wasn't hoping for the latter, I didn't feel like getting shot today. As expected, he put down his gun, his face lighting up.

"He wants to combine drug trades," the girl with him said, rolling her eyes. They had to be related, they shared too many similarities in their face to be strangers.

"Who are you and why would I want that?" I asked, my eyebrows rising.

"Saint Jimmy, I own the South _and_ North Sides. The West Side is impossible for anyone except for them but with you, I feel like we can run those bastards out of town and claim what's ours," he said, a smirk forming on his lips.

"You've got a deal," I said, shaking his hand, a smirk identical to his on my face.

Little did I know I would be seeing _a lot_ of that smirk from that day forward. Little did I know that I would be feeling his touch more than I saw his trademark smirk. Little did I know that this insignificant teenager would soon become my life.


	3. Chapter 3 Saint Jimmy

I didn't realize how long it had been since I updated this . I'm so sorry!! And I'm sorry it's short and crappy... I love you guys...

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As the weeks passed, Jimmy and I became inseparable, as did Armatage and Roxie. It was a sight to see if you'd known me or A prior to the arrival of J and Roxie. The onlookers were stunned that Saint Whatsername was showing emotions to someone who wasn't A. I found it rather annoying, thanks. I mean, I guess I could see where people were coming from, I was a bitch to everyone except A (and now Jimmy and his sister). See, thing was, none of us knew how deep we were getting ourselves into.

I yawned and opened my eyes, I was in the house A, J, Rox, and I shared. It was a good find because it fit four people comfortably. Granted we had to share rooms but the only person who minded was Jimmy and that was because he didn't want Roxie in the same room as A even though they seemed to becoming fast friends. We all learned quickly that Jimmy was a very protective person over Roxie, mess with her he'd kick your teeth in. That somehow didn't scare A off though. Maybe it was his love for danger? Love for the unknown? Whatever it was, it was obvious he was into Roxie a lot and he would do whatever it took to have her.

As for me, I was head over heels for Jimmy. I wouldn't admit it, and I hid it pretty well. We fought. A lot. I was stubborn and so was he. Neither of us budged for anything and it was amusing, as A once told me, to watch us fight. Roxie threw in her "you're fighting like an old married couple" comments, which made me even angrier and I'd storm out of the room, Jimmy would follow still yelling and then he'd apologize. We had a love hate relationship mainly because I refused to acknowledge what I felt for him. A and Roxie would sit back and watch us, laughing to themselves. Roxie and I had gotten as close as sisters since we'd met, we just clicked and I was thankful. It was nice having another girl around.

Today was nothing special, or so I thought when I rolled out of bed. It was still dark outside when I woke up, that didn't surprise me. I'd been waking up at odd hours of the night for weeks now, part of my blamed it on the new arrivals. Well, Jimmy in particular. He snored, very loudly. I'd given up on trying to wake up up or throwing things at him because once he was asleep, he was dead to the world. I stopped in the doorway when I realized it was quiet and turned to look at the bed normally occupied by Jimmy. It was empty. I furrowed my eyebrows, confused, as I walked down the stairs to the kitchen figuring if I was awake I'd better make coffee. I was startled when the smell of freshly brewing coffee hit me smack in the face when I descended the last stair. I poked my head into the kitchen and saw Jimmy standing in front of the coffee pot in his boxers. My stomach gave an involuntary jerk and my breath hitched slightly. I was used to seeing Jimmy in boxers, I lived with him. Still, every time my body would have a mini panic attack and leave me needing _someone_ to take care of it.

I shook my head and walked into the kitchen. "Someone's up early," I smiled. He turned around and my stomach did another flip. My eyes lingered on his chest and try as I might, I couldn't keep my thoughts from straying somewhere else.

"So are you," he pointed out, a smirk on his lips. I don't think I'd ever seen Jimmy smile, he always had a smirk on his face it seemed. Never once was there a smile, just different variations of that same damn smirk... it was sexy though... oh here we go.

"Insomnia is a bitch," I sighed, pulling myself up on the counter. "What time is it anyway?" I asked, too lazy to search for the clock. Jimmy furrowed his eyebrows and looked around, trying to find the clock.

"It's... uh... 4:09," he said. "And you're right, Insomnia _is_ a bitch," he agreed, reaching up to grab two coffee mugs. I grimaced, four o'clock in the morning... what an ungodly time. I stifled another yawn and gratefully accepted the hot cup of coffee Jimmy had just handed me.

"Mmm, coffee," I grinned, taking a sip.

"It's hot... you're going to burn yourself," he said.

"Thank you, Mother," I sighed. I wasn't in the mood to say anything harsher, though I slightly wanted to. I know the coffee is hot, that's what happens when you make coffee, did he think I was an idiot? Part of me was saying yes, the other was telling me he was just being nice, that he didn't mean it in a demeaning way. I listened to the less rational part.

"Just saying," he said, holding his hands up in a peaceful gesture. I sighed and stared into the dark liquid in my cup, zoning out a bit.

I didn't notice Jimmy's eyes on me, nor did I notice the look he was giving me. If I'd've been paying attention I would've seen a shift in his eyes, a somewhat protective look as he leant against the counter opposite me. I didn't notice how his eyes raked over me, how a flash of want flickered through his blue eyes. As far as I was concerned, we both were friends, in a very odd sense of the word. We were two people that screamed and yelled at eachother at times but more often than not we'd be laughing and joking as if nothing happened.

I looked up and was about to say something when I felt a searing pain on my thigh. I gasped in surprise and looked down. Evidently I'd tilted my hand and the coffee was spilling out onto my leg. "Fuck!" I yelped, setting down the coffee cup instead of throwing it like I'd wanted to. "Shit, ow, fuck," I groaned, brushing the scalding liquid off of my leg. I was panting as the pain stopped, almost instantly, when the source of it was removed. That's when I heard the laughing. I looked over and Jimmy had set his own mug down and had his hand over his mouth, trying to control the laughs that were shaking his body. Did he really think that was funny? That me hopping around in pain amused him? He _was_ an asshole.

"You asshole! That wasn't funny!" I glared and grabbed the closest thing to me, which happened to be a orange, and chucked it at him. It hit him in the head, that shut him up. He stopped laughing and stared at me for a moment. I knew the orange hadn't hurt him, it was an orange for Christ's sake but it still got my point across, which made him angry.

"You bitch!" He snarled.

"Don't fucking talk to me like that!" I said, my voice rising. Sure, I was overreacting, but I had a temper, a bad one. Little things like that tended to set me off, and J had a temper like mine, so the both of us would get worked up over nothing and piss eachother off more.

"Don't throw things!"

"You laughed when I burned myself, I'm sorry if I got mad."

"You didn't have to throw a fucking orange at my head!"

"It was an ORANGE! Not a metal ball! Suck it up you pussy!" I snarled. Apparently that did it because the next thing I knew he was suddenly very close to me. It didn't scare me though. If he hit me, I'd fight him back, and then let A have him. I was prepared to kick him in the groin, I was prepared to punch him in the stomach, but I wasn't prepared for what actually happened.

One minute, we were fighting, the next... his lips were on mine in a fury. Instead of shoving him off, my mind shoved itself off and closed down. All coherent thoughts left me completely and I was kissing him back just as hard. My hands were in his hair, his were on my face, I was against the wall, he was pressing against me.

I didn't know, then, that this was going to be a journey into the unknown, I didn't know, then, that that was the start of the roller coster of a relationship between Jimmy and myself. The only thing I could concentrate on was just how _right_ it felt and how much I wanted him.

Big mistake.


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